What’s Happening To Our Children?

The following is an article that I wrote that ran in the January 4th issue of "The Republic" Columbus' daily newspaper. Since many of you who read this blog do not live in Columbus or do not read our local paper I am running the article as part of my blog.

          “How do we keep our young people faithful to the church after they leave home?” Local ministers were asked this question during the final session of the World Religions seminar conducted at a local public library in which I was a panel member.  It was an excellent question and showed a deep concern for the loss of influence the church is having on teens and young adults.

            The panel answered the question from the perspective of what churches can do to keep our young people faithful.  When it was my turn to speak to the question I shared what my friend, Rev. Owen C. Carr says, “We don’t lose young people from our churches. We lose them when they’re children, they can’t leave until they’re teens.” 

Churches should do everything they can to inspire and connect children and teens to Jesus.  Churches must change, innovate and become relevant to our children and youth if we want to increase the odds that they will remain faithful as young adults. But the church is only a small part of the equation, and not even the most important one.  The primary factor in a young person’s desire for God, the church and the things of God is not the church.  It is parents!

            Ron Lee Davis in a talk entitled, “Introducing Christ to Your Child”, made this statement, “An elder statesman of a Christian church has devoted himself to a fifty-year study of Christian and non-Christian families.  He says that in American culture today, most young adults following Jesus Christ either come from non-Christian homes where they were converted to Christ in their teenage years through a dynamic youth ministry, or they come from homes where they grew up in love with Jesus because mom and dad were so in love with Jesus that His love permeated their lives.  It passed through their pores.  Very few believers come from homes where there was a kind of indifferent, apathetic commitment to Christ.”

            “This is not my idea,” says Davis.  “This is the result of this study.  It is sobering and thought provoking to suggest that, in American culture, the chances are better for a child growing up in a non-Christian home to become a Christian than for a child growing up in a home that has an indifferent, apathetic commitment to Jesus Christ.”

            Parents, if you are concerned about whether your children will remain faithful to Jesus, stay connected to the church, and have an eternal home in heaven -- make certain you are fully-devoted to Jesus Christ yourself and passionate about your faith.

            Warren Mueller writing in Leadership magazine noted this about children and church attendance, “A study once disclosed that if both Mom and Dad attend church regularly, 72 percent of their children remain faithful in attendance.  If only Dad attends regularly, 55 percent remain faithful.  If only Mom attends regularly, 15 percent remain faithful.  If neither attend regularly, only 6 percent remain faithful.”

            My friend, Rev. Terry Yancey, Superintendent of the Kansas District of the Assemblies of God, when he ministered to teens would often address them with words like these, “If you don’t know how to get to heaven, I’m going there.  Put your eyes on the back of my neck and follow me.  Do what I do, watch what I watch, pray like I pray, live for Jesus the way I live for Jesus.  Follow me, imitate me and we’ll get to heaven together.”  Mom, dad, could you speak words like these to your own children or are you expecting the church, the pastor, the youth sponsor or the children’s director to be the ones your children are supposed to follow if they want to learn how to get to heaven?  Your children will first follow you and then those in the church.  As Rev. John C. Maxwell says, “You teach what you know, you reproduce what you are.”

What are you reproducing in your children in regard to God and the church -- apathetic, half-hearted devotion, or vital, living faith?  The burden rests primarily not on the church’s shoulders, but on yours.  Let’s partner together to hold on to our children.

 

You Are Worthy

            Phillip Yancey in his book Reaching for the Invisible God recounts this story.

            Rosemary had a rag doll.  It was her favorite doll and Rosemary went nowhere without it.  The doll went from new and clean to dirty and threadbare -- but it was the most precious of all of Rosemary’s possessions.  Like Linus and his blanket, Rosemary could not bear to face life without her rag doll.

            When Rosemary’s family moved from Scotland to America, each family member carefully

Like Linus and his blanket,
Rosemary could not bear to face life
without her rag doll.

selected what possessions to bring along.  Rosemary chose just one thing: her rag doll.  It did not get packed; it was to stay with her on the trip.  But things took a turn for the worse.  Somehow, in the airport, Rosemary misplaced her rag doll.

 

            The family began a search, retracing their steps.  “Rosemary, do you remember where you may have laid her down?”, was asked time and time again.  Skycaps, ticket agents and restroom attendants were all asked if they had seen a rag doll.  Rosemary became so distraught at the loss of the doll that the family considered postponing their flight.  Time was passing.  Nothing else mattered right now because Rosemary’s rag doll was missing.

            Finally the doll was located. As soon as it was placed in her arms Rosemary became calm.  Onlookers were wondering why an old doll had such value, why parents would run all over an airport and possibly postpone a flight because of a dirty threadbare rag doll.  In one sense they would have been right. The doll had no worth in itself; but it had much worth in the girl’s eyes.

            You see, some things are loved because they are worthy; some things are worthy because they are loved.  Gorgeous super-models, gifted athletes, brilliant scientist, priceless works of art, talented actors -- they are loved because of their inherent worth or ability.  But there are many things, like the rag doll, that have great worth, not because of some intrinsic value, but because they are loved. 

            That’s the way it is with God’s love, and I am thankful for that.  God’s love is not based on our worth; and honestly I am not worthy to be loved by God.  Before He entered my life I was filled with sin, and even now after walking with Him for over 35 years, I still sin, mess up, fall and fail -- yet I am still loved.  Some things are loved because they are worthy and some things are worthy because they are loved – you and I fit into the latter category.  St. Augustine said of God, “By loving the unlovable, You made me loveable.”

            In a nutshell that is the story of Jesus.  God loved people so much that He came to earth and was born of a virgin named Mary.  He loved people that were full of sin and fear, who were selfish and unloving, who had little if any value in themselves and because of the great love He had for all of us, He gave us eternal value.  He gave us worth.

            Some things are loved because they are worthy; some things are worthy because they are loved.  God loves you; you are worthy.

Is God Disappointed In Me?

From time to time (for me quite often) we fail to measure up to what God would have us to be and do.  These are the times that I feel like God is disappointed in me.  But recently I was challenged by something I read that God is not disappointed in me, He is disappointed for me.

God is not disappointed in me, He is
disappointed for me.

When I thought about that statement it made a lot of sense to me as a father.  I have three grown children.  As I watched each of them grow I could see so much potential.  Whether the potential was athletic, academic, social, musical, technical, leadership, spiritual they each had wonderful abilities and potential. 

 

But like all people, at times they failed to measure up to their potential.  It may have been because of fear, stubbornness, laziness, even rebellion and sin but in each case my disappointment was more about what they missed out on, or I was disappointed at the unnecessary pain they caused themselves.  I was disappointed for them not in them.  I felt pain because they did not measure up to what they could be.

That’s the way that God sees us when we fail to measure up because of fear, stubbornness, laziness, even rebellion and sin.  He feels pain because we could be more.  But He is not disappointed in us.  He never withholds His love and His mercy and grace.  But He is disappointed for us, desiring us to be what he sees we can be if we will obey and trust and rely on Him.

Knowing that even though I have not measured up my Father is not disappointed in me makes it so much easier to relate to Him and come to Him in my brokenness.  I can come to someone who is disappointed for me and not in me.  That’s my Father and He is yours also.

Pride Is Rising - Watch Out

I was challenged this week by something I read in the book, "Secrets of the Secret Place" by Bob Sorge.  He said, "Humility is the foundation of all prayer." and "Prayerlessness is the first sign of

I don't "feel" prideful. But my feelings are the
wrong criteria.

prideful independence."  Ouch!  I don't feel prideful, but Sorge is right.  My lack of prayer shows that pride is rising up in my life.  It doesn't matter that I don't "feel" prideful, my actions demonstrate that I can get by without God and that is pride.

Prayerlessness sneaks in so subtly. Busyness, obligations, ministry requirements and opportunities, interruptions, study time - weeks get full very quickly and prayer gets marginalized.  No big deal, right?  I'll pray more tomorrow and anyway God understands.  I don't deny that He does understand but do I understand what my prayerlessness is really saying?  It says I can get by without spending time with the Father.  It really is the first sign of prideful independence.

And so I lay aside some of those pressing things. I decide not to do that fun activity, Bejeweled Blitz. I lay them aside so I can spend some time with the Father reminding myself that I REALLY, REALLY do need Him.

The Blessing or Curse of Friendships

I heard the following statements recently.  They have stayed with me and so I'm passing them on to you.

Friends will influence you for good or for bad,
so choose your friendships wisely.

When God wants to bless your life and future, how does He do it?  He sends people into your life.

When the devil wants to destroy your life and future, how does he do it?  He sends people into your life.

 

But don't forget, we are the ones who choose which people we will open the door of our heart to.  We also choose how far into our lives we will allow them to come.  God's blessing through friendship becomes our choice.  The devil's destruction through friendship becomes our choice.

 

Wisdom and discernment are needed with every relationship we have.  Our enemy is a roaring lion seeking whom he may devourer and one of his most effective tools is sending people to capture our hearts, our emotions, our imaginations and our very lives – messengers disguised as “angels of light” and wolves in sheep’s clothing is how the Bible describes people that he sends.  Watch out!

Friends will influence you for good or for bad, so choose your friendships wisely.

A Self-Made Prison

An acquaintance of mine, Ben Madison, once told this story (names have been changed).  He was at an airport waiting for a connecting flight.  He noticed a man who seemed to be staring at him.  He ignored it but the man kept staring.  The man finally approached him and asked rather rudely if his name was Ben Madison.  My friend said he was and the man angrily proceeded to tell him that he had ruined his life and his family.  Ben was startled by not only the accusation, but by the man’s rage.

"I can't believe you don't remember me or what you did to us!"

Ben said, “Sir, I’m not certain that I know you, let alone ruined your life.”  At this the man was even more angered.  “My name is Dwight Ferguson.  I can’t believe you don’t remember me and what you did to us!”  Dwight went on to say that when Ben was the principal of a Christian school 11 years ago in another city, he had expelled Dwight’s son from the school. It hurt him and his wife deeply that their son would be expelled and he vowed never to forgiven Ben.  Someday he had hoped and prayed to run into Ben and let him know the years of pain he had endured in being so embarrassed by having a son expelled and how he had hated Ben all these years.  

That day had arrived and Dwight went on and on pouring his anger and pain on Ben.  He was drawing quite a few stares from onlookers.  Ben’s flight was finally called and he apologized to the man and quickly boarded his flight glad to be away for the man’s anger and ranting.

Ben thought and thought about this on the plane and vaguely remembered the incident that had taken place so many years ago.  Ben remembered that the boy had been a problem in the school and had been given a number of chances. However the incident that required the expulsion was clearly spelled out in the student handbook and was of the type that Ben had no choice but to expel him.

Ben went on and said something that has stuck with me.  He said that it really saddened him to think that for 11 years Dwight had been imprisoned by his own hatred and bitterness hoping for and wishing harm on Ben and waiting for the day that he could confront him.  But every day for 11 years Ben had never thought about the incident.

That is the power of unforgiveness.  It robs the person holding it.  It steals joy, peace, and sleep.  It eats away at our insides like an acid.  Yet the person we are holding unforgiveness and bitterness towards may not even remember us or the incident.  We are in prison and they are walking around free.

Ben said he was glad he always worked hard to forgive all who had ever offended or hurt him and he encouraged me to do the same.  It has stuck with me.  I never want to be in a self-made prison like Dwight was.  But I have to work on it.  Many things come my way that try to lodge in my heart and sometimes they succeed for a season.  But when I realize what I am doing, I choose to work through them and avoid putting myself in a self-made prison. 

It is said, “Bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”  I also recently heard it said, “When you forgive someone, you set a prisoner free – yourself.”  Good words to ponder.

 

(This post was also submitted  to The Republic, Columbus Indiana's local newspaper and they recently ran it.)

Turn Off The Noise!

A major source of weakness in my ability to
hear from God is that I don’t unplug,
I don’t turn off the noise or get
away from the distractions.

I am reading the book of Acts right now in my Bible reading plan and came across the passage in Acts 10 where Cornelius is praying at the ninth hour (3:00 PM) and is visited by an angel.  It occurred to me that in Acts 3 it said that Peter and John were going up to the temple at the ninth hour and that is when the man, lame from birth, was healed.

Later in Acts 10, Peter is on the roof of the house at the sixth hour (Noon) and receives the vision of the sheet and the unclean animals being lowered from heaven. The Lord speaks to him about what not to call unclean and this leads to the Gentiles receiving Jesus and being Baptized in the Holy Spirit.

In Acts 2 the Holy Spirit is first poured out at the third hour (9:00 AM).

Powerful miracles, powerful messages, powerful encounters with God and angels and all of them mention the time of day these took place.  My mind started looking for a pattern, the sixth hour, the ninth hour, or the third hour – was there something in common?  And then I saw it.  It was not the time of day; it was that in each of these instances the people had taken the time to separate themselves from the noise and busyness of life and pray. 

Peter and John were going up to the temple at the ninth hour – the hour of prayer.  Cornelius was praying at the ninth hour, Peter was on the rooftop at noon praying.  The group in Acts 2 was in the upper room several days after Jesus ascended into heaven.  It says in Acts 1 that they were devoting themselves to prayer.  They had set aside time for prayer.  The inference in the Scripture was that this was a pattern for each of these people; they often set time aside to be alone with God, and God visited them during these times.

A major source of weakness in my ability to hear from God is that I don’t unplug, I don’t turn off the noise or get away from the distractions.  And because I don’t, my mind and spirit do not easily connect with God.

We need to stop fooling ourselves that the devotions we have with our phone, computer, or tablet at our side are effective unless we really have them off, or unplugged from all of our aps. 

I am reading my Bible on my tablet and a message pops up at the top.  It is a text, email, or Facebook message from someone.  I see it.  It distracts me and so I switch from the Bible and respond.

I’m in prayer with my phone on my belt and I get the familiar chime or vibration that I have a text or email.  It distracts me.  I get the phone out to see what someone needs and I respond. 

I’m in prayer or I’m reading and I remember something that I wanted to check on the web.  So I get out my phone to look something up.  Then I see I have two aps that need updating and I have 10 Facebook notifications and I have a free spin for coins on my game and once again my focus is switched and I am distracted and I usually take care of all of these things (because they only take a minute and if I don’t take care of them now I’ll forget) and 10 or even 20 minutes later I get back to prayer or Bible reading.  Of course now I only have a couple of minutes left before my next appointment.  

Each time something like this happens I break the connection with the Word or with the Father in prayer. The connection that I may have had with the Father or His Word is gone.  Each distraction, each broken connection weakens my spiritual life.  But it is so subtle or to such a small degree that I don't really notice and so I don't make changes.  And I get spiritually weaker and weaker.

My concern is that as believers our devises are keeping us from hearing what the Lord is speaking because they are constantly a source of distraction.

Here is something I have discovered.  Sometimes God speaks to me when I am seeking him about a problem or issue. More often God speaks to me when I have taken time to quiet myself in prayer and Bible reading. These are usually the most powerful and insightful encounters but they are happening less and less because I have not taken the time to silence the noise in my life, to unplug from the distraction.

Here is my appeal – turn off the noise, get unplugged.  God is speaking, we are not hearing Him because we are distracted and our minds and spirits cannot get in tune with His voice.  I am choosing to turn off the noise, to have my devotions with devises set aside or turned off.  It is what I need to do.

The days we live in require that I hear the voice of the Father so that I can obey the voice of my Father. My I challenge each one reading this to do the same.